FAQ's
Where are you located?
Made in the USA. Printed by people, not robots with attitude problems, we already have enough of those, see: every shirt design.
Our shop runs out of Florida and Texas, because apparently one location wasn't enough chaos. If you're outside the US, don't worry, we've got printing partners scattered across the globe so your order doesn't take six months and a passport to arrive."
A few notes: I kept it dry/sarcastic rather than going full "USA pride" tone, since the existing voice avoids anything that reads like flag-waving enthusiasm, that register felt closer to the "Not this" column. If you actually want a more sincere "proudly American-made" angle for this section, I can do a second pass that's a bit more earnest while still keeping the dry humor.
Do you ship internationally?
We ship worldwide. Yes, even there.
Rates vary by location, check our shipping page for the specifics, because we're not going to pretend a flat rate makes sense when one of you is in Auckland.
Will I get a tracking number for my order?
Yes. We'll send you a tracking number the moment your order ships, so you can refresh the page seventeen times a day watching it move across a map. We don't judge. The Plotting Hamster does the same thing.
What materials are your products made of?
Soft. Durable. Won't disintegrate after three washes like you're afraid it might.
Exact materials vary by product — the details are on each product page, where we've put them instead of making you email us like it's 2009.